my favorite feather

the chair we found together, the bookshelf we bought together. our notes. our promises. the refrigerator covered in photos of a life that used to be...

that pressure in my chest has moved down to my stomach and i feel it moving through me like water that rushes from a hose once the kink is twisted free. burning all the way down. but today is different. today i understand. today, for the very first time, i welcome the unknown. i'm awaiting a new way of living. a new way of turning with the world.

i hate the truth to all of this. i hate knowing i caused her pain and sorrow and doubt. but i love her. i love who she is. i love her bravery. and i love knowing she is free from burden and free from the worry that once burned through her. yet, i am warm knowing that this end that we reached together is actually a new beginning. it is always darkest before the dawn.

although she will always amaze me, twirling at concerts will never be the same. not much will be. but there's still a connection and a love that will never surrender.

you will always be my favorite feather.