lady is now 2 years old...the terrible 2s ;)

thank you for loving me

i

in the corner there sits her chair with some of my clothes on it. a few inches away is a bookshelf. its the home to many of her things, mainly books. her art covers our walls and a few of her fallen hairs sleep on the pillow beside me.

in the morning i make her tea and she drinks it 97% of the time. but i continue to make it as if there's a 100% probability that she will drink it.

i watch her get dressed and pray she'll change outfits several times so that i may watch a little while longer. my favorite outfit being the one she wears in the shower.

mt. olivet cemetery

around 11:00pm we decided to visit the mt. olivet cemetery near our house. perfect weather for a stroll through a huge cemetery: dark, drizzly, and overcast. kind of creepy. but definitely worth the adrenaline rush. as we walked deeper and deeper into the cemetery i couldn't help but wonder if we were being watched...by something faceless and formless. something that is always hanging in the night air and around each tombstone. yes, i believe in ghosts. if everything is essentially energy and energy cannot be dissolved then it must simply change composite or form as it passes through the stages of its existence. something solid may become liquid and something liquid may become a gas, and so on. i don't believe "ghosts" are transparent human images. rather, a shapeless and faceless "feeling." and i believe this feeling is always around us. not to frighten us but to remind us that life doesn't dissolve, it just changes shape.

d is for disappointment

so the day finally came
it was cold and it was cruel

tonight i did something i have been wanting to do for years now. i finally went down to the marina near the airport and watched the planes land. wondering what the people were thinking as their plane was about 40 seconds from touching down in Washington DC. was anyone visiting the city for the first time? anyone running away from home? anyone meeting up with friends they haven't seen in years? so many lives in the planes above me and i doubt i knew a single one. it's strange how lives pass by or (or fly by) and they all have their own direction, their own connections, their own sadness or happiness or loneliness or fulfillment and so on. so many lives right next to us every day, every second and we rarely connect with them. (we barely really connect with the people we consider "friends") perhaps we do for a split second as we accidentally lock eyes on the subway or on the sidewalk. but never really, truly connect. why? there could be someone on that plane that has the same sense of humor as i do, or likes cooking as much as i do or takes a shine to the many tings i like and am interested in, but i'll never know. perhaps one day i'll randomly talk with a stranger and mention that one night i went to watch the planes land. maybe we'll realize that while i was on the ground looking up, they were in the plane looking down.